One of the requirements I faced for obtaining a masters degree was a 40-page dissertation. I had an extremely difficult time picking a topic I was (1) interested in, (2) met all of the requirements and (3) was considered "intellectual" enough for a masters dissertation. I completely overhauled my topic numerous times, but finally, I settled on this:
In my volunteer work, I had come across websites, like HollaBack and HarassMap, that allowed people who were harassed on the street to write about the incident they experienced and, if possible, post a picture of their harasser. Because these sites existed in cities all over the world, I decided to analyze the postings to see what "truths" I might uncover about using a technology geared towards women to combat something they faced in their everyday lives.
But the dissertation I ended up writing was much different than the original idea. Rather than proving how these sites are beneficial to women, I ended up defending almost the exact opposite opinion. My conclusion was that, though there is probably a psychological benefit to writing about these personal experiences, these websites could actually contribute to a worsening of relations between genders.
This conclusion came from several points of data. First, the postings themselves almost always focused on the gender of the harasser (or harassed) and rarely any other characteristics, reducing street harassment solely to an incident of a opportunistic male harassing a female passer-by. Though there is ample evidence that street harassment occurs because of characteristics such as race, religion, clothing, sexual orientation, etc. this wasn't made evident in the postings. Second, many of the postings discuss regret for what could have been done to prevent the harassment - this puts too much of the focus on the victim, rather than the societal structures that contribute to a environment that leads to street harassment. Finally, the repeated story of the overly-aggressive male taking advantage of the naive female fits into a narrative that women should fear men, a story women hear frequently throughout their lives. Again, if women are taught to fear and be cautious around men, then it is their fault if they are harassed or assaulted, because they did not heed the warnings.
See why I feel bad now? I seem to be attacking organizations that I should be uplifting! Even though, as someone pointed out to me the other day, the point of research is to be critical, it still felt as if I was going against everything I'd learned throughout my year in school. I'm actually afraid sometimes of telling other feminists what I wrote about. What if they cast me as a heretic?
Despite my conclusion, I do believe HollaBack and HarassMap are doing amazing work, and I hope the continue to do it for many years (until street harassment is abolished!). Many times in my life I've been on the end of a lewd comment or gesture, and I hope one day no one has to walk down the street in fear of any of these actions. They are on the front lines of activism everyday, while I hide in my white tower, behind the easily constructed fence of "research."
In the end, my professors gave me a relatively good grade, commenting specifically on the "originality" of the research. My dissertation will be held on the shelves of the Gender Institute to be an example for future students. But I still feel bad about my dissertation.
What do you think? Should I have this moral dilemma? Should I feel bad? Or since my professors liked it, I shouldn't worry? Would love to hear from you in the comments.
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